It was all Just a Dream

The day I met you and you said, "Hi".
The first time you ever looked into my eyes.
I couldn't believe this was happening to me,
But then I woke and realized, it was was all just a dream.

Whenever I saw you my stomach would flip.
When I heard your voice I'd stumble and trip.
No one knew it, but you looked at me.
I woke up and realized, it was all just a dream.

I would wait for you to walk by,
Waiting for the chance to say "hi"
Then one day you came and gave a kiss to me,
But I woke and realized, it was all just a dream.

Wayward Soldier (What we did in class on Monday Nov 17. This is what I came up with.)

But in the midst of their nightmarish crossing of this region
Hope still shone through the darkness.
Rather casually he scooped up four new crustaceans
And threw them on the grill.
He carried his gun through moss covered trenches
and shot down any enemy that crossed his path.
An eerie arrangement of buffalo and human skulls placed around slender stakes
Surrounds the field where the heard grazes.
His face was caked with mud
And his hands were dripping with blood.
The number of people ha had killed were many
and his wife would not be happy.
Triumphantly discovering a new whippoorwill
He was able to take leave.
He set his eyes on the homeward horizon.
The day had come at last.

Think?

How do people think? It's a weird concept. We have this thought process, and yet, we only use 10% of our brains? How are we supposed to develope our potential, if we can't even use all of our brain? If we could use more than 10% of our mental capabilities, shit, we could do what Criss Angel does. That's how he gets into people heads, he has accessed more than 10% of his brain. Think of all the geniuses we'd have running around, hell, we might even find a way to stop global warming.
Think of all the great scientists. Einstein for one. People thought he was crazy. Was he? No. He had just accesssed more than 10% of his brain, and I'm sure more could have been unlocked.
I mean, sure, not everyone can unlock that other 80%, but they can try. Some who do, drive themselves mad, others become great scientists, or like Criss Angel.
Think about it people. Think about how you think.

The Second Hand Ticks Slowly On

Time Passes.
It passes slowly, and it passes rapidly.
Life seems to go by slowly most of the time.
Only moving faster when danger is around, or if something forces adrenaline to take over.
Life passes so many people by as the walk along, worrying about how to get through the day, and how they will support their familes.
People never take the time to do fun things with their familes, and when they do, they fight.
Every minute ticks by as people think about how to make more money, and that minute of life is lost.
Every minute that is wasted worrying about things is a minute of life lost.
The clock of life ticks on, and when that clock finally stops, how will your life have been spent?
The second hand ticks slowly on.
How have you spent your life?

Freewrite from October 10, 2008

Wind whispers through the trees as the sun shines bright.
The leaves are bright reds, yellows, and oranges.
A field of trees lies beyond the campus.
Fall is in the air.
People walk by the library, and it’s a scene of serenity.
Mountains lay beyond the church in the distance.
Home, the mountains are my home.
I can hear people laughing now.
The wind blows softly again.
Ladybugs fly past us, landing on our books as they pass by.
There are very few clouds in the sky.
James yells to Ian, and Dinah has major ADD.
The feel is peaceful as people go about their business.
Gulls fly over the island, and crows caw in the distance.
Trees of bright orange towards Rushton and Heritage.
Time to Move.
The athletic fields lay in front of a sea of trees.
Trees I have walked through before.
Vehicles pass on the road, leaving for the long weekend.
The serenity of the scene is calming.
I can see glimpses of the forest trail I walk and the wind gently whispers through the trees.
Bees are collecting nectar from the clovers as a gull flies over head.
I can’t hear the class now, and I like it…. James was far too loud.
The colors of the trees remind me of an inferno, bright and blazing.
Farms lay beyond the sea of trees, and the river I know lays farther still.
Calm as it may be, not too many people like the country.
They say it’s too quiet, and too scary.
Honestly, I fear the city. It’s too noisy, and there are too many people.
I can hear the geese as they fly over, guided to the south.
The gulls fly over again as an airplane can be heard overhead.
It sounds small, just a bush plane.
The flock over a field, rising together to continue their journey and rock doves fly by.
Winds whispers through the trees, the sky is blue, and geese continue their migration.

Freewrite from September 15, 2008

I don’t really pay attention to other people as I walk. I pay more attention when I’m sitting. I’m sure people were miserable with the rain, but I like it.
My eyes are sensitive to the light, and if it is sunny with no clouds, I get horrible headaches.
The rain gives my head a break. It also makes it cooler.
Last night was weird. So windy, but still so warm. Many people were outside, because the rooms were too hot.
Nobody likes humidity and if you do, ugh! You’re not human, and ugh is all I have to say to you.
I love the rain. I love the snow. I’d rather be cold than hot. Because if you’re cold you can only get warmer. If you’re hot, there’s only so far you can go to get cool.

Freewrite From September 5, 2008

Loneliness, abandonment, betrayal.
Disdain, aggressiveness, unloved.
These are wards that come to mind at the dark sadness in the eyes of a woman.
Lust, aggressiveness, sexual longing.
These are words that come to mind as a man dressed in black lurks in the shadows.
Fear of the shadows is all over the woman’s face.
Lust, longing. The man yurns for someone to have a physical relationship with.
The woman guards herself against his evil, but will it be enough?
He looks hungry for here, for her blood.
What will he do?
Is he kind? Or is he a tyrant?
Will he be polite, or assertive?
What will become of the woman?
What will become of the man?

A Painting I did in High School Art

The Loudness of Silence

The Loudness of silence deafens me as rain poors from the sky.

I do not feel the dampness, but I know I'll never be dry.

Light lingers for a moment, and I ask myself why?

Why do I feel this urge to die.

Rain drops fall like bullets, shining silver in the pale moonlight;

driving themselves deep in to my skin with all their might.

I cover my ears and close my eyes tight.

My screams are lost in the night.

Blood is streaming down my face into my eyes.

A drop of blood for all the lies,

told by everyone who chose to hide;

and all those who can't make up their mind.

Tears of blood stream down my face.

Flood waters come to leave no trace,

of life that was here in this place.

All the light in the world seems to fade.

I was a good girl, always helped others and did what I was told.

I didn't get the chance to grow old.

Then one night came, dark and cold,

in came a man dressed in black and gold.

Fear rose in me like I never knew it could.

He jumped on me as if I should

know what this was all about and that I would

give into his demands just like I should.

I tried to break free, but his grip on me

was more than I could fight, he had me.

There was nothing to do but wait and see

what he could, what he would, do to me.

Now I am charged with blasphemy.

He is charged with adultry.

He's now in the penetentery,

and no more will he ever see of me.

Now I sit her with blood for tears,

in the silence of my fears.

It's been this way it seems for years,

and now the loudness of silence fill my ears.

My body lays limp as blood streaks my skin.

There are no thoughts of my own within.

They all douse me with kerosine and gin,

then light the fire hiding within.

I had no chance, people were set against me,

there was no way I could make them see,

that the true one to blame was he,

who took away my virginity.

Bullets of rain pelted down on my eyes,

stones of hatred began to fly,

lightning struck the distant sky,

all I could do was lay there and die.

The end has come, I now must part,

but before I do they take my heart.

They hang it from a tree branch nigh,

and offer my life to the eye in the sky.

The past must go, the future come,

and now my friends, my life is done.

Dark Abyss of Loneliness

Into the dark abyss of loneliness i crawl. Sweet dreams to the fairness of the blood rose. It does not want, it does not care. The blood rose is just there, lulling through time. The path of darkness precedes. Blood covers the wall. Little light shows through as the darkness covers all. Fairwell to the world of the living. Hello to the world of dreams. My world. A world where everything is possible, and nothing is impossible. Let me stay here. I'm welcome here. Do not wake me from my slumber, I wish to remain here forever. Let me crawl into the dark abyss of loneliness.

Loneliness Ensnares

Loneliness ensnares my mind as I try to break hold of the fear of being alone. I don't know what to do. There's nothing I can really do. Whatever happens happens, even i fI fear it. What will happen if I'm alone? Will I ever find that on, true love? Will I ever know what love is? Maybe. Who knows? I don't. But for now, I'll let loneliness ensnare my body and mind.

This is a video of our dogs. Princess, Annie, and Daisy Mae. They are all very special, and I love them dearly.

This is just a funny video I made of one of our dogs. Her name is Annie. We got her from the pound about 1 1/2 year ago. We fell in love with her the moment we saw her. She sat right in front of my brother and looked him right in the eye, and that was that. She's very food and toy motivated. She's very smart, and loves to cuddle. I hope you enjoy this video and much as I enjoyed making it.

Broken Hearted

I never knew what it was like to have a broken heart. That was, until I thought i had finally found love. As people can tell, that never happened. I don't know if it ever will. I saw him, and my heart would beat faster. Now I see him, and my heart drops. I don't know why I always do this. I always like the guys that it could never happen with.

I have the feeling I'll end up alone with 2 kids. I won't mind, I'll have a good, steady job, and be able to support them. I fear I'll never find someone to love me though. I've always had this fear. It's almost instilled in me genetically. I am not weak minded, but I do fear of being alone. I really don't know why. There are many women who are stong, and support their children by themselves.

I however do not know my strengths and abilities yet. I don't know what kind of mother I'll be. I don't know that I'll be strong enough. And that leaves me Broken Hearted.

Closterphobia of Stress

Every day, closterphobia breaks in to my subconcious. I don't notice it at first. Then, slowly, as the day goes on, I feel more like I'm suffocating. Each breath gets harder. I don't know why, but it happens. I can't seem to make it stop, it just... keeps coming back. I can't break free from its grasp, until I fall asleep. Sleep... the remedy for everything. When I wake up, my breathing is normal, I feel normal. But as the day goes on, the closterphobia returns.
Closterphobia, the fear of small spaces. My fear is being stuck in one spot in my life for too long, and never being able to break free. I want to have a life outside of school. I need to learn to balance my life better. But what can I do? How do I break free of the Closterphobia of Stress?

Sunset on Peru St.

Sunsets are one of the most beautiful things to watch. Most of th time, watching the sunset over the fields, we can watch a few deer grazing, or turkey's walking through. Sometimes we'll see a fox, or a coydog. One time, I was lucky enough to see a wolf. It was just a lone timber wolf. Large, grey, and prowling. He was gorgeous, majestic, and ever searching. Then, one morning, not that long ago, I heard a howl. It had been 7 years since there had been any trace of a wolf. We normally never have more than one, but I swear I heard two.

It was a dark starry night. The air was clear, and the trees were quiet. Then, out of the night, a howl broke the silence. My dog was on full alert, the howl recieving her full attention. She cocked her head, and pointed with her no, but stayed by me, in case the intruder decided to come near.

Sunsets on my road are amazing. Living in the country is probably the best hing on earth.

This is a video I made. It's suppossed to represent the fact that the wild horses of America are being slaughtered and outnumberd by mankind. No matter what anyone has to say, there is still horse-slaughter in America. People also don't realize that since horses are not raised as food animals, they are injected with steroids and other drugs to make them stronger or faster, making it poisoness for anyone to eat. France, Belgium and Russia are 3 of the worlds biggest buyer of horse meat. They consider it a delicacy. If only they knew what went into most of the horses that are slaughtered. More often than not, the horse that is slaughtered is an old racer, pacer, cart pony, or show horse that "messed up" one time, when it was really the riders fault, and they didn't want to take the blame. Also, many of the mare that go into slaughterhouses have foal inside them. What do they do with the foals you may ask? They cut them out of the mother, and while the foal is still breathing, they throw it in a trashcan to be processed later, and let it suffocate in its own juices. How do I know this? I wrote a 10 page paper on it.

Scene From Step Up 2 The Streets

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G3i7SUDiO0&feature=related

More art in motion. What do you think?

Just Friends?

Every time I see you, my head spins and my stomach is filled with butterflies.
Whenever I see you, my world is perfect.
Your eyes set the calm, and your smile makes me melt.
Even though I don't see you every day, I can see your face in my mind.
Since I first saw your face, and heard your name, I haven't been able to stop thinking of your eyes; your smile; YOU.
I want to let you know, but i'm too afraid.
I don't know what you'll say, or what you'll do.
If I knew what your reaction would be, I'd tell you how I feel.
Every day that we have class, I can't wait to see you.
Every class we have together, I treasure, because I'm with you.
There are times when I can't look at you, only because I'm nervous.
I look at you, then look away, nervousness flowing through my body.
My heart pounds, and my legs turn to jelly.
My mind is racing with thoughts of you.
What do I do? Do I let you know? Or do I keep it bottled up inside?
I want to tell you, but what will you say?
Will we ever break out of being just class-mates?
Or are we destined to make it to "just friends"?

My Dream of You

Every night, I dream of you.
You always come to my rescue.
Whenever I'm in trouble, you hold me in your arms, and speak gently.
I feel so safe in your arms.
I lay my head on your chest, and I can hear your heart beating.
You hold me close, like you'll never let me go, and I don't want you to.
We're in a quiet woods, in a clearing, watching the stars.
I start to drift off in your arms, you kiss my head and squeeze my arms.
You draw me in as close as you can, protecting me.
Again, I feel safe.
I put my hand on your chest, over your heart.
We fall asleep in the woods, beneath the stars.
And then... I wake up from the perfect dream